The Moment When R n B ate itself.

Witness, gentle listeners, the lyrical and musical monstrosity before you...




This is not a joke people. R Kelly wants to get YOU pregnant. Take it all in...

...the gentle sighing of the girl with the "unbelievable booty" but who is also "a cutie" at the beginning...

...the "knock you up" refrain which insists on smacking you in the face straight after the initial horror of discovering that Mr. Kelly would like to impregnate you, just to rub it in...

...the featured artist Tyrese, who refuses to let you forget that he has something he wants to put in you, clearly not realising that even Electric Six "Gay Bar" manages to render such a line in a more appealing manner than he can...

...the astonishing couplet which I now realise can only have been written by Josef Fritzl himself...

"Put that girl in my kitchen
Lock you up, knock you up"

I am genuinely reeling from this discovery ladies and gentlemen. I really did think that nothing could truely top the dizzy heights of turd-dom set by Jeremih's recent hit "Birthday Sex"...

But no, oh no, we did not count on the astounding subtlty of the great R. Kelly to come and completely dis-regard and obliterate the good name of metaphor for years to come.

Mr. Kelly has clearly decided there is no need for such faffing about and that it is far more important to cut down on the crap and get down to business...

Amazing.

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